Summary

'All the world's a stage'- and all of my shows are comedies. Welcome to my Wacky World, which is a collection of the mad, funny and sometimes slightly unbelievable things that happen to me.

Friday 13 July 2012

Short Stories: Making an Utter Arse of Myself- Part 1

You know you were doomed to having one of those days from the start when it takes you the entire day to realise that the reason why your T-shirt is so uncomfortable is because you have it on backwards.

(I've put 'Part 1' because I make an utter arse of myself way too often, so there will surely be more to come.)

I do seem to have a bit of a track record with public toilets. Until today the one that sticks most in my mind is the time I walked very bodily into a full-length mirror in the Birmingham Bullring ladies' loos during my student days, and apologised quite loudly to what I thought was another person (but what was actually, of course, my reflection), to much pitying laughter of the general public. In my defense the mirror reached right down to the floor and was the exact size of a doorway... it's not a very strong defence, is it?

Today doesn't quite top it, but I think it's worthy enough to be up there in my public toilet Experiences.

Today at work whilst walking to the loos I was a bit preoccupied with my unusually uncomfortable T-shirt (I still hadn't cottoned on I had it on backwards, yet), so I was trying to tug it into submission with both hands.

Unfortunately I still wasn't paying attention when I got to the toilets, because as I reached out to push the door open with my right hand (imagine the door of the loos are to my right), I was still looking down at my T-shirt.

I completely missed the door and pushed quite heavily against solid doorframe, which in turn caused me to pivot backwards into the door itself. As I pitched over in reverse, totally out of control, both arms and the one leg that wasn't connected to the floor flailing akimbo in all directions, I had enough time to see the small group of managers staring at me before I completely disappeared head-first and backwards behind the swinging door.

~Fin~

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