Eat. Explore. Adventure. Repeat.

(Notice the lack of "Sleep"?)

I'm super-psyched for an awesome New Year's Eve/ New Year tonight: I have silky soft hair after an at-home treatment, a shiny new camera to play with and a pretty see-through mug of good quality flowering jasmine tea to sip as I tinker. I even managed to squeeze in one last recipe and post for Tashcakes!, and I have freshly washed bedsheets to snuggle into later.

... What, did you think I'd be out there doing something interesting and quirky and Tash-ish?

New Year's Eve has never been a night of Going Out And Doing Stuff for me. I think anyone who knows me can agree that I do more than enough of that on normal days: so NYE is one of the rare times I just let myself do Bugger All. No FOMO for me- just kicking back and relaxing, and giving myself a moment to process all of the stuff I've done in the year (but don't worry, this isn't going to be a "Wot I Did This Year Lol Aren't I Amazing" post). As for tomorrow, the first day of the new year itself, I will think about all the things to come in 2015 (or rather panic mildly at the mad things I've signed up for and the things I need to get organised for).

The great thing at the moment is that lots of my friends are beginning to take on the same mentality as me- so instead of feeling guilty about turning down their events, I get to switch off at home knowing that they're doing the same thing! There is plenty to do in the city on a night like this- but you know what? This is London, and there is always plenty to do, every single day and night of the year. So just once a year- just for tonight- I'd just prefer to drink my tea, try not to break my new toys and look forward to clean sheets.

A happy new year to you all- as I said in Tashcakes!, "go try new foods, experience new things and most importantly: have fun!"

RE Possibly Having a Bona Fide Heart Attack...

My results came back today. Tissue damage to my heart and chemicals in my blood indicate that:

a) I probably have pneumonia

b) I actually may have had a blood clot after all

c) I definitely have had a severe allergic reaction to a medication my GP insisted I couldn't possibly be allergic to

and

d) I definitely have/ had a, b or even both, as well as c.

As you can imagine, I'm not to thrilled about the less than concrete diagnosis, and even less thrilled that the options are, well, potentially deadly.

In any case, I'm not dead, and although I'm still suffering some symptoms I'm far from those couple of nights when I felt like I was actually dying (the 'joke' is that I was closer than I or the doctors thought).

So. I am now being treated for pneumonia, and I'm having another X-ray done- but in a week's time. The potential blood clot is being ignored and labled as 'probably unlikely', and the allergy is not being officially tested for- despite it being a common type of antibiotic that I may need to be aware of in the future.

The reason why I'm being treated in such a blasé manner? It' s because I'm young and (otherwise) fit. Long story short, I actually went to hospital over a week ago (you know, when I thought I might be dying) and suggested tests for both pneumonia and heart failure. I more or less got laughed at. I was refused an X-ray, and it took another trip to convince my doctor that I needed one. And whadayaknow, it turns out I was- very unfortunately- correct.

In any case... not a great start to 2014. However in a few days I am off to Reykjavik with a friend and I can't wait! I just have to remember to take it easy. My doctor said I should be fine to go.

Then again, my doctor has said a lot of stuff...

Pause: Rewind: Reflect.

In the light of recent distracting events such as Christmas, social events and a health scare in which I thought I might actually be having a proper bona fide heart attack, my breaking my habit of posting every week for a couple of weeks this month may be at least a bit excusable.

(I'm still not sure what my heart's doing, but having had a chest X-ray today and a blood test booked in a couple of days makes me feel more satisfied having done something pro-active about it. To be honest, for a 26-year-old young woman who loves exercise and good food to have a heart attack is just plain unfair, let alone very unlikely.)

Well, I think I've done myself proud this year in terms of taking life by the cojones. I've tried new things and made some amazing new friends in the process, as well as re-connecting with old friends and staying solid with current friends.

Mad/ funny highlights:

I joined a London Geek Girl group
I went to London Comicon dressed as Egewne Al'vere from the Wheel of Time book series
I gave speed dating a whirl
I had my first crash
I sang Japanese karaoke on stage in Trafalgar Square during London Japan Matsuri

Fun highlights:

I visited my friend in Berlin
I went on an afternoon tea cruise on the Thames with another friend
I went to the BBC Proms for the first time with yet another a friend
In fact almost every weekend this year has been spent with awesome people

Achievement highlights:

I sighed myself up for evening Mandarin classes for a year
I took a short travel journalism course
My baking has been further improved (check out this year's gingerbread house, incidentally!)


Of course, I still have a great deal to look forward to next year, too:

Things to look forward to in 2014 so far

A Northern Lights trip to Reykjavik, Iceland with a friend (literally next week! I need to get better by then)
A trip to KK, Malaysia to see my family
Visiting friends in Brighton and Ipswich for the first time
Making my first wedding cake for a colleague

So it looks like 2014 is going to be just as, if not even more, busy than 2013. Where on earth has this year gone? It seems like it's been a mad race- but it was certainly an amazing year, full of adventure. Here's to another adventure-filled year.  I wonder what mad situations I'll find myself in?

Happy New Year! xxx

Serious Business: Mouse to Manticore in Eight Years

This is the story of my crystal necklace.

Everyone who knows me knows I wear a single AB Swarovski crystal drop on a silver chain. Everyone who knows me well enough knows that I wear it every day, and everyone who knows me better knows to avoid buying me jewellery because I've worn it every day since I bought it and little else. Some people know that I've worn it for eight years, from when I bought it in Venice.

The only thing about the necklace that has stayed the same over the years is the crystal: the chain has been replaced about five times, the clasp about six; I've even replaced the bail that loops the crystal to the chain. Even though the only surviving part of the original necklace is the crystal, I still view it as the same necklace. Like my watch (another item that's almost like a part of me), I put it on every morning on autopilot, not really thinking about it.

On Boxing Day, it went missing. I haven't seen it since.

I remember wearing it on Christmas Day, and taking it off with my watch when every time I opened the oven to check on my roast it heated up and burned me. I remember putting it on the coffee table with my watch. I don't remember putting either back on, nor taking either off before bedtime as usual, nor putting both on in the morning as usual. All I know is that when I came back from the shops on Boxing Day afternoon, I was wearing my watch, but my neck was bare.

I bought it in 2004, during my school's music school tour to Venice (I sang in the choir and played the flute in two other groups). We had a free day before a concert in the evening and were milling around the shops and markets of the city. In a shop full of trinkets and tat, there was a small stand on a table next to the checkout with a few odd necklaces going for a couple of Euros hanging off of it. Like a magpie, my eyes instantly caught the rainbow sparkliness of the single drop crystal necklace, and I bought it. I've always liked the rainbow effect of AB crystals (probably because my birthstone is opal) and around that time I was constantly wearing cubic AB crystal earrings, so this necklace matched perfectly. I ended up wearing the necklace long after I stopped wearing those earrings.

It was also around that time I had stopped becoming almost cripplingly shy and only a little bit shy. I had gone through the first few years of secondary school as quiet as a mouse, swinging from being unable to make friends to being in the middle of upsetting situations when I eventually did make them; more upsetting than your average teenager has to face (which can be tricky enough as it is). Now I was beginning to find my roar. Okay, so it was a quiet, almost apologetic roar, but still a roar. By 2004, which was when I was sitting my GCSE exams, I was talking to people more often. I think my necklace became a kind of amulet, almost like a lucky charm (even though I don't believe in them): something I subconsciously associated with this time of life and the gradual change in me. It symbolised that the bad and sad times were over, and that I was slowly but surely on my way up in the world: and so I wore it every day, only hanging it up to rest when ill, asleep or in costume.

I've lost it once before- it was about three years ago when I was still at university. I was heartbroken, and searched high and low for it. It turned up later in the day tangled at the back of my hair: the chain had snapped, and it and the crystal had luckily snarled themselves in my curls. I knew deep down I'd find it, though- quite often when I lose something I'll feel panicked, but if I'm liable to find it again I'll know at the back of my mind.

This time was different though: as soon as I went to twirl the crystal around my fingers- a habit I've picked up after the numerous years, and probably a contributing factor to my loss- and found it missing, I knew immediately: that was that. Maybe that's why although I was upset- of course I was upset- I wasn't heartbroken this time. I'd already accepted that one day I'd lose it forever when the chain finally snapped whilst I was out.

What has this got to do with the New Year? Well, it seems fitting to me that I should lose my amulet, my symbol of the New Me, days before a new year, and in particular this year- 2012 is the year of extreme ups and downs: my first heartbreak/ breakup with my first boyfriend (well... technically the second, but I don't really count the two months we got back together for after the first breakup); one of my closest friends getting married to another good friend; losing a total of two stone and feeling fantastic; the months of struggle to find a job; finding a job; going to Australia... many things and many more that have shaped me significantly yet again. I suppose I have changed again, because I also felt a weird relief at losing my necklace- there's no longer any sense of automatic obligation every morning to don my amulet. To sound incredibly melodramatic, I'm free from my past: because even though my necklace was a symbol of me changing for the better, it was also a symbol of the mud I had to wade through to get to that point.

I'm still nerdy and geeky, still a tad socially awkward* and still, at times, a smidge on the shy side (not always though- recently I went up to a total stranger in town to ask him why he was wearing a Banana Man costume to advertise online dating- hey, I really had to know**), but no longer a mouse.

So. New year, new necklace? I'm not going to get an exact replacement, and I don't think I'll ever have something that I wear day in, day out again. A shame opals are so pricey... I'd rather like a faceted Ethiopian welo opal (hint hint, for any randomly generous and wealthy passing reader! A girl can dream, right?) In the meantime, I do need a new everyday necklace I suppose. My magpie senses are tingling...

A very happy new year to you all- here's to all the changes that make us, us. Let's made 2013 amazing!

* As is apparent in almost every post in this blog- although I have a feeling being British has a lot to do with it, too

** He told me miserably, 'My manager told me it'd attract more attention.' Well... I suppose I can't fault that.