Mean Ice Cream Man

I went out for my first run since autumn last year today because the weather is finally catching on that it's spring. It was challenging- not because I'm out of practice (I found other ways to keep fit during the long winter)- but because there were so many other people out enjoying the sorely missed sun. My self confidence has fallen a bit, hiding under all the winter layers, so the real challenge was getting out there in all my Lycra glory. I needn't have worried though, because as soon as I took my first step, I felt awesome- I hadn't realised how much I'd missed running.

The biggest challenge was not chasing after the ice cream van like a rabid greyhound after a hare.

It was a reasonably hot and sunny day to be out running, and I was quite red in the face and obviously baking a little bit. Just as I came to the tough uphill part of my run, an ice cream van drove past- and started to drive really slowly just ahead of me. At first I thought he was looking for a place to pull up, and it dawned on me that he didn't even have the jaunty ice cream van music playing.

Then I realised he was trolling me.

I saw his stupid grinning face in his wing mirror and considered scowling back at him, but decided to act nonchalant. Even so, the horrible bastard continued to trail just ahead of me all the way up the hill, until we both came to the top and he sped off, laughing.

I hope he gets lemon sorbet in his eyes.

~Fin~

Short Stories: A Bit of Schadenfreude

Today, I was on a set of descending escalators in a shopping centre. I heard the thundering of running footsteps behind me, and was very suddenly crashed into by some guy with a load of bags, who, apparently lacking any sense of personal space, decided not to back off and instead to stand literally pressed up against me. I turned to give him an icy stare whilst standing my ground, muscles coiled up like snakes about to strike if he turned out to be the sort of guy to try any funny stuff.

He didn't notice my glare though, because it turned out he wasn't paying attention to me at all- he was gazing back up the escalators. Suddenly he spun around (nearly knocking me over all over again), and darted up the escalator. I watched in an almost hypnotised state of amazement as he dashed upwards against the downwards movement of the staircase, at first only matching the speed and seemingly running in one spot, and then gradually succeeding at picking up speed. I had reached the ground by now, but I couldn't stop watching.

Just as he was almost at the top, tiring out fast and beginning to slow down again, he made one last almighty leap to the finish line- only to trip heavily, bags flying and limbs flailing, and he finished his race to the top by scrambling on all fours.

(I turned away very quickly to hide my laughter).

~Fin~