Forever Alone

It was the kind of occasion where somewhere, deep down, you know heard other person correctly: but it was just so damned weird that you didn't believe your own ears.

"Sorry, what?" I asked the barista.

"I said, 'do you dance like black women?'" he said, quirking a suggestive eyebrow at me.

My problem is that I'm immune to flirting, which has two main downsides. If a nice guy flirts with me, I only see it as "banter" and banter right back, but not in the right way- causing the nice guy to "take the hint" (that wasn't even there because I was so clueless) and give up, and me to kick myself about five hours later when I realise I was being flirted with. That's the first downside. The second downside is that a not-so-nice guy will take it too far, and I won't realise what's happening until it gets to that point- resulting in time being wasted and me being marginally ticked off.

I walked into the coffee shop this morning and asked for a flat white.

"Alright," he said. "But I gotta warn ya... it's either going to be in this cup, or this one." He indicated to a large cup and an espresso shot cup.

"Uh, aren't flat whites just regular? I'm pretty sure you don't shoot one, either" I grinned, assuming he was just trying to be funny.

"Just kidding, large it is. Wait, what did you order? Oh, a flat white. That'd be regular then."

I smiled and handed the change over, while the barista got to work.

"You look kind of stressed, you having a bad day?"

I blinked. (Here we go, I thought, we have a conversation artist... alright, just be polite, Tash). "No..? I'm quite happy, actually."

"It's just that you look sort of tired."

(Wait a minute, I thought, is he trying to 'neg'* me??)

"Then I've come to the right place," I laughed, brushing it off.

"So, do you work around here?"

"Oh... no. Just passing through the area."

"Don't you have work today?" He asked.

"No, no work for me on Sundays. I'm just on my way to dance class."

"Oh, what kind of dance do you do?"

"K-Pop. Korean pop, that is."

 And then he said it.

"So do you dance like black women, then?"

Honestly my brain just switched off when I asked him to repeat what he'd just said. It was clear he didn't have a clue what K-pop was (which is fair enough), but that statement literally just came out of the blue. It was a particularly random statement to make– especially since I'm as pale as milk. The worst thing about it was the appraising up-and-down look he was giving me. I pretended not to notice.

"I'm not sure what you mean. Um, it's more street-style?" I added, helpfully.

"Right, right," he said. He then proceeded to hand me my coffee, holding it out of my reach for a few seconds while asking me to try the coffee there and then on the spot. He tried to make me promise that if he'd made a bad coffee he'd make me another one for free.

I made a wild grab at the hovering coffee cup. "I'm sure it'll be fine, thank you!" I more or less ran off.

The coffee was terrible: I threw it away. I didn't go back.




*Negging: the practice of giving someone a very mild insult while acting friendly, sometimes in the hope that they'll subconsciously want your approval.